The point of me outing myself as a comical nerd stereotype is to make this point: video game fanatics and video game companies have a very unhealthy dynamic. There's nothing inherently wrong with this, it's just something that developed when a demographic composed mostly of socially backward and entitled man-children become dependent on distant, inhuman corporations that specialize in ninja simulators.
I say there's nothing wrong with this, and there isn't, until the faceless corporations decide to engage in role reversal therapy without telling the hapless man-children. That is the point where the dynamic becomes what I like to call Fucking Lunacy. See, the giant software companies that make video games have things like lawyers and PR departments and checking accounts and working knowledge of copyright laws and ties that don't clip on and other things that Average Joe Gimme FFVII Remake just doesn't have access to. When these companies turn the tables on the customer it's like watching Cujo attack a Yorkie.
Playstation Sues Goofy White Kid
If anyone doesn't know about the Playstation 3/Geohot/failoverflow jailbreak fiasco, allow me to give a brief summary. Sony is one of the largest and most powerful electronics/software companies on the planet, and they did it even though they repeatedly treat their customer base as an unwelcome burden. Despite a history of being shitheads about property rights, when a customer tinkered with a product they sold to him, they had no qualms about attacking him with their lawyers.
The thing about hackers is that they enjoy hacking. It's like a drug to them. Bragging about having great security, for hackers, is like offering an alcoholic single malt scotch. Or whatever classy drinkers like. Probably not Steel Reserve and mouthwash. My point is, is that Sony is not nearly as good at computers as they think they are. Even if they were, it's a universal law that no matter how good you are at something, there will always, always, always be someone better at it. So when a hacker called GeoHot (hackers are required by Space Law to have terrible nicknames,) cracked the Playstation 3's security Sony flipped the fuck out and threw every weapon they had at him. And the important thing to remember about GeoHot is that he isn't some maniacal evil scientist hiding in an evil computer lair in Siberia. He's a white kid, probably from the suburbs, that makes terrible rap videos while sitting at his computer. GeoHot is this guy:
Fucking this guy!
That guy is every goddamn kid in America. Now, I'm not pro-piracy or pro-jailbreaking (assuming you mean actual pirates and jails and not just bullshit buzzwords that have nothing to do with high seas adventures or daring escapes from incarceration,) but I goddamn definitely am pro-not-criminalizing-your-target-demographic and pro-property-rights.
The result of this abuse of the American Justice System is that at best, it stopped a few pirates from playing copied games (even though they'll just look elsewhere to enjoy their booty or make engineers walk the plank or fire their cannons at electronics stores, or whatever fake pirates do,) while Sony looks like a towering, black skyscraper made out of dick and pettiness that sues its own customers, and at worst, this case is the beginning of an assault on customers' privacy and ownership rights that, having been exploited once, will now be the go-to for every corporation looking to squeeze a few more pennies out of their customers spleens.
World of Warcraft Sues Autopilot
I've already spent many hours explaining my distaste for MMO games, and, honestly, making jokes about WoW nerds is like going for the low-hanging fruit at this point. It's less hard than joking about Charlie Sheen's hilarious death-spiral or Nickleback's lack of musical ability.
So I don't really know what WoW is beyond some kind of elf-themed fantasy fulfillment for lonely nerds with disposable income and maybe Blizzard is a righteous bastion of righteousness for suing MDY Industries for releasing Glider. By the way, Glider, as near as I can tell, is an autopilot for Warcraft characters, allowing them to autolevel, which breaks some kind of taboo in the World of Warcraft.
Here's why suing the company that developed the program is a fucking retarded idea. 1. WoW costs money to play. That's the reason Blizzard executives all drive platinum coated SUVs made entirely out of panda. 2. Paying a company for time, and giving the time to a robot to use for you is a fucking stupid-ass waste of time, money and robot. 3. Auto-power-leveling can only be used for (I imagine,) a couple of things, either to skip the early BS levels for someone on their 4th playthrough, to beat up on low level players, or some third thing I'm unaware of because I don't play shit like World of Warcraft.
If someone just wants to level up to the point where they can breeze through the early game it really doesn't effect anyone but the player doing it. Yeah, Blizzard may lose a few payments when players burn out marginally quicker, but c'mon, WoW is a relic. The sooner people stop paying for it the sooner Blizzard will start on making a sequel.
If players are using Glider as a bullying-enabler then there's only so much that can be done about that. For most people that kind of behavior would lose it's charm after about twice. If someone makes a second career out of it then banning them from the servers for using a bot would only hasten their transition into the inevitable headline "Cheetoh Encrusted Cubicle Worker Shoots Fucking Everybody!" Since every minute that person spends in an imaginary world as an imaginary barbarian beating up on weaker imaginary barbarians and imagining the imaginary tears he's causing at the other end of an internet connection is one minute closer to the moment someone notices that something is seriously fucking wrong with this person, calls the police and averts the rampage. Do you want that on your conscience, Blizzard?
Finally, the thing about these kinds of programs is that they're like crackhouses. Close one down and another one pops up across the street. There are a fucking lot of people that like modding games, and even more that like playing modded games. If you want an exact figure, it's (C2)H3/.5S, where C=the number of crackheads in America, H=the number of crackhouses and S=the current supply of crack. I'm not sure where prostitution or trafficking or crooked cops figures into the equation. Gamestop, somehow, probably. I'm going to abandon this analogy now.
Modders love modding. And if someone is willing to do it for money, then it's only a matter of time before someone else does it for free. If Blizzard does take down the paid plugin there will probably be a freeware version available before they even have time to pop the corks on their champagne bottles, proving once again how absolutely and totally futile it is to try to legislate things like thought, information and nerds' desire to do nerd shit like build plugins for games they love, despite the company that produces those games hating their customers.
(Next Time: Dr. Chalmers has a secret that will take your breath away! Is Kate really who she appears to be? These and more questions answered!)
The result of this abuse of the American Justice System is that at best, it stopped a few pirates from playing copied games (even though they'll just look elsewhere to enjoy their booty or make engineers walk the plank or fire their cannons at electronics stores, or whatever fake pirates do,) while Sony looks like a towering, black skyscraper made out of dick and pettiness that sues its own customers, and at worst, this case is the beginning of an assault on customers' privacy and ownership rights that, having been exploited once, will now be the go-to for every corporation looking to squeeze a few more pennies out of their customers spleens.
World of Warcraft Sues Autopilot
I've already spent many hours explaining my distaste for MMO games, and, honestly, making jokes about WoW nerds is like going for the low-hanging fruit at this point. It's less hard than joking about Charlie Sheen's hilarious death-spiral or Nickleback's lack of musical ability.
So I don't really know what WoW is beyond some kind of elf-themed fantasy fulfillment for lonely nerds with disposable income and maybe Blizzard is a righteous bastion of righteousness for suing MDY Industries for releasing Glider. By the way, Glider, as near as I can tell, is an autopilot for Warcraft characters, allowing them to autolevel, which breaks some kind of taboo in the World of Warcraft.
Here's why suing the company that developed the program is a fucking retarded idea. 1. WoW costs money to play. That's the reason Blizzard executives all drive platinum coated SUVs made entirely out of panda. 2. Paying a company for time, and giving the time to a robot to use for you is a fucking stupid-ass waste of time, money and robot. 3. Auto-power-leveling can only be used for (I imagine,) a couple of things, either to skip the early BS levels for someone on their 4th playthrough, to beat up on low level players, or some third thing I'm unaware of because I don't play shit like World of Warcraft.
If someone just wants to level up to the point where they can breeze through the early game it really doesn't effect anyone but the player doing it. Yeah, Blizzard may lose a few payments when players burn out marginally quicker, but c'mon, WoW is a relic. The sooner people stop paying for it the sooner Blizzard will start on making a sequel.
If players are using Glider as a bullying-enabler then there's only so much that can be done about that. For most people that kind of behavior would lose it's charm after about twice. If someone makes a second career out of it then banning them from the servers for using a bot would only hasten their transition into the inevitable headline "Cheetoh Encrusted Cubicle Worker Shoots Fucking Everybody!" Since every minute that person spends in an imaginary world as an imaginary barbarian beating up on weaker imaginary barbarians and imagining the imaginary tears he's causing at the other end of an internet connection is one minute closer to the moment someone notices that something is seriously fucking wrong with this person, calls the police and averts the rampage. Do you want that on your conscience, Blizzard?
Finally, the thing about these kinds of programs is that they're like crackhouses. Close one down and another one pops up across the street. There are a fucking lot of people that like modding games, and even more that like playing modded games. If you want an exact figure, it's (C2)H3/.5S, where C=the number of crackheads in America, H=the number of crackhouses and S=the current supply of crack. I'm not sure where prostitution or trafficking or crooked cops figures into the equation. Gamestop, somehow, probably. I'm going to abandon this analogy now.
Modders love modding. And if someone is willing to do it for money, then it's only a matter of time before someone else does it for free. If Blizzard does take down the paid plugin there will probably be a freeware version available before they even have time to pop the corks on their champagne bottles, proving once again how absolutely and totally futile it is to try to legislate things like thought, information and nerds' desire to do nerd shit like build plugins for games they love, despite the company that produces those games hating their customers.
(Next Time: Dr. Chalmers has a secret that will take your breath away! Is Kate really who she appears to be? These and more questions answered!)
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